please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
