i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I did not marry a roomba.
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