To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
