My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
