i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
