How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize