great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
