She announced her abortion via fbk
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
