Your tits are I can't wait for
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He shit in the fireplace
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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