Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize