Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
as a side note pls kill me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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