Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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