"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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