okay pat passed out under dana's car
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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