she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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