Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
