Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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