he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
