Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
