Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
