But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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