He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
