dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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