I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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