where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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