Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fuck appropriateness.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
