Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize