i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize