Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize