your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
