You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
