She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
