Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
