whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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