am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
