I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize