doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize