Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
