He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
