well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
