Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
