Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
