We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
