stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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