At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
