I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Welp...herpes.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
