I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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