so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize
