Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
did i just pee glitter
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
