I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
