they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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