I just saw a hot homeless man
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
