we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I have fence marks all over my body
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
