omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
