Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize