Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize