after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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