Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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