What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
