My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize