I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
