can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We named our party play list daddy issues
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize